Get Some

General => General Chat => Topic started by: BerG on September 10, 2013, 08:26:04 am

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: BerG on September 10, 2013, 08:26:04 am

Last week, after a hard day of deep underground mining and fighting crime, I decided to go in for a deep tissue massage. My regular lady was booked out, so booked in with some dude.

He went way too soft on my back, but then decided to go all out on my neck.

After the massage, he told me to rest for a couple of days and drink lots of water. I told him water was for pussies, and not working at least 16 hours a day was for faggots. I immediately went and chopped down a few tree's while drinking beer.

5 days later, and my neck is still sore. Its sore on the right hand side, and seems to extend all the way up over the right side of my skull. But worst of all, there is a big lump right in the middle of the soreness. This evil swine, has used his magic to inject me with a tumour.

I went back and broke down the door of the massage room, demanding answers. After extended torture he would not give me any anti-venom, so I turn to you for help.

Is there any way to get rid of this tumour, or should I simply cut it out with my combat knife?

(http://imageshack.us/a/img835/779/tvh7.jpg)

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: winter on September 10, 2013, 08:34:57 am

obligatory "IT'S NOT A TUMOUR!" arnold quote in a berg thread.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on September 10, 2013, 08:37:25 am

Berg, you should know better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaTO8_KNcuo

It's not a Tumor!!!

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Zarkov on September 10, 2013, 09:04:48 am

This.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on September 10, 2013, 09:21:50 am

Yes Berg, Have you been to LV-426 recently?

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Scunner on September 10, 2013, 11:20:47 am

It's probably Lupus.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: BigBoss on September 10, 2013, 11:33:28 am

It's never lupus

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: BerG on September 10, 2013, 11:54:34 am

I've seen enough episodes of popular daytime soaps like Home & Away to know that this is either a deadly tumour that I'll need to go to 'the city' to get fixed, or a malicious new form of cancer that I'll need to raise funds to go to America to fix.

Either way, I'll never be seen again.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on September 10, 2013, 12:42:18 pm

Get a head transplant.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: SteddieEddie on September 10, 2013, 01:11:38 pm

Try the combat knife first and let us know how that goes, oh and take some pics of op

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on September 10, 2013, 01:12:44 pm

Try using a chainsaw, it would be faster.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: winter on September 10, 2013, 01:46:31 pm

Quote from: BerG;1531309

I've seen enough episodes of popular daytime soaps like Home & Away to know that this is either a deadly tumour that I'll need to go to 'the city' to get fixed, or a malicious new form of cancer that I'll need to raise funds to go to America to fix.

Either way, I'll never be seen again.

Rubbish, nothing the doc in Yabby Creak couldn't sort m8.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Bounty Hunter on September 10, 2013, 03:51:27 pm

You can get a cream for that Berg....don't ask and I won't have to explain to everybody how I know this, and why you need to know this.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Zarkov on September 10, 2013, 05:14:48 pm

Urine is good for those things.

Title: Breaking Bad Season 5
Post by: Tiwaking! on September 10, 2013, 05:46:21 pm

Quote from: BerG;1531309

I've seen enough episodes of popular daytime soaps like Home & Away to know that this is either a deadly tumour that I'll need to go to 'the city' to get fixed, or a malicious new form of cancer that I'll need to raise funds to go to America to fix.

Either way, I'll never be seen again.

You are being written out of "GetSome and Away"?

That is a real shame! You were such a good character
First "Breaking Bad" and now this

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: SteddieEddie on September 10, 2013, 05:50:42 pm

Quote from: Tiwaking!;1531328

You are being written out of "GetSome and Away"?

That is a real shame! You were such a good character
First "Breaking Bad" and now this

Hey you!! Welcome back!!

I have missed you around these parts.

Stick around and revive some threads for us

:love_heart:

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Bounty Hunter on September 10, 2013, 06:15:55 pm

Quote from: Tiwaking!;1531328

You are being written out of "GetSome and Away"?

That is a real shame! You were such a good character
First "Breaking Bad" and now this

STOP THIS THREAD

TIWA IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Emrico1 on September 10, 2013, 06:26:19 pm

Way to steal bergs tumor scare thunder Tiwa!

...

Welcome back though dude :)

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: BerG on September 10, 2013, 06:32:28 pm

At least I'll die knowing Tiwa is back.

Dear God I've missed you.

Now start a new thread, or revive an old one, to tell us about your adventures.

(https://static.squarespace.com/static/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/51ce6099e4b0d911b4489b79/51ce61cee4b0d911b44a1c53/1294940589054/1000w/4301521855_9d282a1045.jpeg)

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Lias on September 10, 2013, 07:40:24 pm

I once went to the GP for a checkup, and got asked "How long have you had the " Me: What lump?.. Nek minute, specialists, surgery, bits ripped out of neck.. Go see a doctor berg :-P

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on September 11, 2013, 08:31:44 am

Quote from: SoK;1531352

Nek minute, specialists, surgery, bits ripped out of neck..

The NZ health system doesn't work that fast.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on September 11, 2013, 08:32:02 am

Quote from: SoK;1531352

Nek minute, specialists, surgery, bits ripped out of neck..

The NZ health system doesn't work that fast.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: winter on September 11, 2013, 08:49:41 am

YAYYYYYYY TIWA IS BACCCCCCCCCCK!! :D

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: private_hell on September 11, 2013, 09:22:17 am

(http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/19500000/2x05-Conjoined-Fetus-Lady-south-park-19547926-720-540.jpg)

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Scunner on September 11, 2013, 10:56:12 am

Have you checked your poo Berg?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsVgi8hoFFc

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Th3.Dud3.Abid3s on September 11, 2013, 11:22:32 am

I have come to the conclusion that you should not go to the doctor. You are obviously evolving to the next tier!

Nurture that thing. Let it grow. You will find it will develop into a horn. A horn that will counter attempted vampire bites to your neck. The only question is....will you grow another on the opposite side to make you fully immune to bloodsuckers. You are living proof that evolution is real. Embrace it, its a beautiful thing.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Lias on September 11, 2013, 11:46:09 am

Quote from: Spacemonkey;1531366

The NZ health system doesn't work that fast.

Too damn right.. which is why Southern Cross paid for the lot. 25kish in the end (op was about 20k, was maybe 5k of specialists and scans beforehand)

Also, Welcome back Tiwa!

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: BerG on September 11, 2013, 12:39:18 pm

Well if you have any neck tumour problems in future, I'll cut it out for a box.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Pyromanik on September 11, 2013, 10:33:02 pm

Quote from: SoK;1531352

I once went to the GP

There's your issue.
Never go to the GP. GetSome's where us good folk hang out.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Th3.Dud3.Abid3s on September 12, 2013, 11:29:05 am

GP forums give shit advice. You'll top yourself in the end.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on September 12, 2013, 12:20:25 pm

Is it a Tumour on the neck!


Operation!

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: winter on September 12, 2013, 02:18:10 pm

Quote from: Pyromanik;1531429

There's your issue.
Never go to the GP. GetSome's where us good folk hang out.

one could argue that by simply going to GPForums you will end up with a tumor in your neck.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: deadmeatwalking on September 12, 2013, 03:28:18 pm

needs more lumps tbh

more lumps here:


(http://img26.fansshare.com/cached/celebrity/imogenthomas/450_imogen-thomas-bikini-256637196.jpg)

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on September 12, 2013, 04:00:07 pm

Yes, I did try clicking there for full resolution.


I know the rest of you did too.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: deadmeatwalking on September 12, 2013, 04:03:37 pm

HAHA too funny :P

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Bounty Hunter on September 12, 2013, 04:53:04 pm

best resolution:

(http://www.tetazas.net/wp-content/uploads/imogen-thomas-pillada.jpg)

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Th3.Dud3.Abid3s on September 12, 2013, 05:27:07 pm

Ahhh, now I've got a clearer picture; yes I'd like to operate on those lumps.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: BerG on September 12, 2013, 06:35:35 pm

I'd like to have sex with her, if you know what I mean.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Apostrophe Spacemonkey on September 12, 2013, 09:03:05 pm

Berg is a sick fucking freak.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Scunner on September 13, 2013, 10:39:32 am

Quote from: Spacemonkey;1531496

Berg is a sick fucking freak.

Don't make fun of his tumour.

Title: Tumour on my neck
Post by: Retardobot on September 13, 2013, 06:40:20 pm

So has the doctor told you you have gay man festering butthole AIDS?