The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a> surrogate> father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,> Mr.> Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man> should> be here soon.'>> >> Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer> happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning,> Ma'am',> he said, 'I've come to...'>> >> 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been> expecting you.'>> >> 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you> know> babies are my specialty?'>> >> 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have> a> seat'.>> >> After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'>> >> 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the> couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room> floor> is fun. You can really spread out there.'>> >> 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry> and> me!'>> >> 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if> we> try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,> I'm> sure you'll be pleased with the results.'>> >> 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.>> >> 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be> In> and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'>> >> 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.>> >> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of> his> baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.>> >> 'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.>> >> 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider> their> mother was so difficult to work with.'>> >> 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.>> >> 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the> job> done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good> look'>> >> 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.>> >> 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too.> The> mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly> concentrate,> and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the> squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'>> >> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your,> uh...equipment?'>> >> 'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod> and> we can get to work right away.'>> >> 'Tripod?'>> >> 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much> too> big to be held in the hand very long.'>> >> Mrs. Smith fainted