I have to tell you the truth

[Oddball]

A lot of assumptions have been made about me. And why not, I'm a hot topic because I'm a hot guy.

But that has nothing to do with it, because this isn't actually about me. Or is it? This is about the other me. Not the one in my head - that's Jim and he sings to me at night.

A bunch of dumb people who shall not be named once said that my other personality, 'Virtuality' was banned. Well, no, you're wrong. I could of just told them that they're wrong, but rather than doing that I extended the period for which they would think incorrect thoughts. The reasoning is simple: It is satisfying if the result of an action, or word, or doing.. wait, that's an action, convinces a dumb person that they're dumb. This is an accomplishment because usually a dumb person doesn't have the mental capacity to contemplate being dumb. It could be compared to teaching a goat to stop sleeping in the middle of the fucking driveway - and I'm being serious here, even if you run it over the fuckers still there the next day.

As usual, my logic is infallible. Yours may not be, but I hope you are following regardless.

One day something horrible happened. A monster appeared and took over ICONZ. It was HUGE! And nasty. And it was named DeeZilla. But it was a pig in sheep's clothing.. Wait, that doesn't feel right, but that's not important right now. Due to the fact that it was unidentifiable I either acted in a null context or in a pleasant context.

Then the monster emerged. The peasants (thats you guys) panicked. But I remained calm and whispered (meaning, I used private messages) to someone about something that had nothing to do with anything. As a sidenote the monster was mentioned but was not referred to as a monster, but rather a different word, I will not tell you what this word is, however I will tell you that it began with an 'f' and ended with a 'atbitch'. With a space in there somewhere. And I know it just sounds like the 'f' is irrelevant and it's actually "that bitch", but no, it's actually "fat bitch".

But the monster took notice of me whispering to my friend and rampaged (through my private messages.. fuck knows why they call them private). And accused me of calling her a word that I did not use in any form whatsoever! Well, at least nowhere she had the right to be. Since I've been giving comparisons you'll probably expect one here, so imagine you wake up after a night on the town and a fat girl is blowing you, while you can understand that her assumption is that it's ok, it's actually not ok. Except actually, there is no fucking assumption that it's ok - Wait, this time I'm talking about the monster. Anyway, it might actually be ok because some people like that - Not the monster this time, you following? And I mean fat girls, before you make a stupid joke - Damn it, this time I mean the... nevermind.

The monster put me in the cooler, presumably to eat me and become even fatter - well, at least she contributes to science and our knowledge relating to gravity. I changed my identity and escaped the next morning.

By the time I was out, the monster was gone. All was right in the world... or was it? The peasants had become noticeably more stupid. I think they were turned into zombies by the monster. And I'm the only one here. Alive. And this is my story. I will live on and tell... well, actually, no one's left, so I'll live on and have Jim sing to me some more. All alone... with Jim. I used to like Jim.

Leave your name if you want a PM when I publish this as a book.

[Tiwaking!]

Focus with self discipline is Learning

Focus without self discipline is Awareness

Awareness of Awareness is Enlightenment

Awareness of Enlightenment is Contentment

Awareness of Contentment is Harmony

Awareness of Harmony is Transcendence

[Apostrophe Spacemonkey]

For a second there I thought Oddball was back.

 

[Mayhem_Lee]

For a second there I thought Oddball was back.

Me 3 even got popcorn

[420fairy]

the truth about how you love truffle butter and alabama hot pockets?

[Craigor]

oh that's right.. I remember now..

This is still a thing, lol

Code: [Select]

{
if ($message['member']['id'] == '7629' && $context['user']['id'] != '7629')
{
echo '
      <div class="inner" id="msg_', $message['id'], '"', '>Chickens.<>
    <>';
}
else
{
      echo '
      <div class="inner" id="msg_', $message['id'], '"', '>', $message['body'], '<>
   <>';
}
}


[Apostrophe Spacemonkey]

Top quality code there.

[DarkVirus]

Hmm, quoting this post yields excellent results

[Bell]

oh that's right.. I remember now..

Haha so Oddball never realised his posted where "Chicken'd" because his posts still displayed for him?

[Bounty Hunter]

oh that's right.. I remember now..

Haha so Oddball never realised his posted where "Chicken'd" because his posts still displayed for him?

shh shhh don't give it away!

[Bell]

Well i'm sure since hes an expert programmer he can figure it out

[Craigor]

oh that's right.. I remember now..

Haha so Oddball never realised his posted where "Chicken'd" because his posts still displayed for him?

Lol, yeah, it was greatly amusing for a few days, he eventually figured it out though, and I just totally forgot I had done it

[Pyromanik]

<>
<>

[Craigor]

<>
<>

It appears the forums wysiwyg editor decided it wanted to remove some tags when I pasted it in

[Pyromanik]

wysiamwyg





(Like a proper wysiwyg, only with almost maybe in the middle.)